"Baby baby baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I'm up against out in this world?
And maybe maybe maybe you'll find something that's enough to keep you,
But if the bright lights don't recieve you,
You should turn yourself around and come on home." Matchbox 20, "Bright Lights"

He had not slept in ages. His bloodshot eyes stared at the half empty bottle of whiskey on the table and wondered if it was worth getting drunk again to see if he could catch up on his sleep. Although, alcohol really didn't help anymore. As much as he would have like to believe that the answers to the universe and all of his problems were at the bottom of a whiskey bottle he found everytime he woke up with a headache pounding at his temples and his mouth tasting of foul tasting sand paper, that his problems were still there to haunt him. The memories were there when he woke up and when he went to sleep. There was no such thing as peace anymore. And so it had come down to tonight.

Pete Wisdom sat at his living room couch in his London flat and stared at the half empty bottle of whiskey and the empty pack of fags on his coffee table and realized what he had to do so that he could sleep again and wake up with a halfway decent idea on who he was and what he was going to do. If he was ever going to have a moment's peace again and get on with his life he had to do it. He had to face up to her.

As much as he would have liked to not have to admit it, she still haunted him. Her eyes, her smile, her smell. He still had all of that to come home to in his dreams. In reality, once again, he'd not been good enough for someone. But in this case it was worse, because for a change, this time it hurt him like a wound eating at his insides. He kept thinking to himself since it happened that there had to have been something he could have done to prevent the outcome. Something that would have stopped the hurt from getting him. But, the only thing he had been able to come up with is that he should never have opened his heart to her in the first place, and then he would have missed out on so much. He'd been dead for so long and she'd finally brought him to life again. Not since he'd joined the SAS had he felt so much, not since life had killed so much of what he felt. She'd healed so much in him and yet she'd ripped open so much more.

He remembered the way she had chosen to persue the feelings between them. How she had fearlessly sidled up to him so close that he had felt her body heat as she had helped him through all of his issues with Black Air. How she'd waltzed into his life and taken control of his heart. She'd even gotten him to almost give up smoking and he'd started drinking more coffee and less liquor. It wasn't because she made him either. She'd just became his new addiction or something. He just hadn't felt the need to smoke or drink as much. He'd become a better person just by being around her. She'd loved him for the man he was and for the man she saw that he could be. And he'd wanted to be that man for her. He'd taken her for granted when he had her. He thought he'd earned her after all of the Hells he'd been through in his life and for not killing when he really really wanted to, and so he'd gotten content. And through that contentment he'd missed something. Something vital that had caused her to slip away from him. He still cursed himself as stupid for letting that happen. There had to have been something he missed. He still went over it in his mind and couldn't find it, but it had to be there. Something he was missing. He could FEEL it nagging at his mind.

There was anger there as well, oh yes. The fact that she had left him for no more than a week and come back determined to break it off with him. That it had been so easy for her. That she had stood there, watching him go, and done nothing. Nothing at all. Oh there was anger there, and betrayal, but mainly there was a sense that he'd missed something important in all of that mess.

It was harder to think because he couldn't keep the numbness up anymore...the pain had finally come home to roost. It showed how bad of a pain it was that it took so long for that numbness to wear off. He had been hoping that the numbness wouldn't wear off -- that he was finally and truly emotionally dead -- but it wasn't to be. It was harder to kill the feelings this time then before he'd met her. It had been easy when it had happened the first time. It had been gradual then. One kill at a time, one more life ruined, and slowly but surely he'd lost feeling. He'd gotten the shakes and burned out, but all people in his line of work got those eventually. He'd known when to get out. But he'd still been numb after all that he'd done. This time he was trying to kill his feelings through sudden assasination and it wasn't as easy. In fact it was almost impossible. And so now for plan B. Plan A of avoiding the pain and hoping that it would leave him alone hadn't worked, so this time he'd rip open the wounds completely and wallow in the pain and much like when you got shot it'd be a burning agony for a few moments and then so long as it wasn't mortal you could ignore it and keep moving so you wouldn't die. And if it WAS mortal you'd die and be done with it.

He was about to go searching around his sparcely furnished flat for anything that might remind him of her when suddenly a large envelope passed under his door to lie a few feet from the stoop. He got up swiftly and moving across the floor avoided the folder, instead he slid up to the door and looked through the peep hole. Not seeing anybody was a bad sign. He grabbed one of the guns he kept around the flat from it's holster where it hung from the table by the door and getting to the side of the door, crouched low to make himself less of a target, he threw the door open, catching it with his leg when it rebounded. He scanned the area and seeing no one and sensing no one he closed the door again. He ran his hands over his eyes as he moved into the room again and picking up the envelope threw it on his coffee table on his way to the kitchen. He put the gun on the counter top and ran some water into his ancient stove top perculator so he could make coffee. A sudden dropping of an envelope under his door and no one sticking around to admit they delivered it usually meant one thing. Work had something for him to do.

He had already told his work to leave him alone. He'd tried to go back to work a while ago, thinking that by killing something again he'd be alright. He'd been wrong. The nightmares and insomnia had still been there when he got back. It hadn't been like it used to. Sure Black Air was gone and he was working for the good of crown and country again, but he didn't have the same naivety as he'd had when he went into Black Air. He'd learned and seen too much to feel good about what he was doing. He'd done the one job because one of his old commanding officers had asked him to. He'd come back, looked his old friend right in the eye and told him that he quit. He'd do reconnoiter, but he wasn't doing the other stuff anymore. When the superiors he actually liked had kept coming and telling him about jobs they'd like to give him he'd decided to lay low for a while. Especially when he'd found out that there was a sizable hit out on his life from what turned out to be later the rest of Black Air...or at least some of the assasins he'd ticked off IN Black Air.

He'd even gone to America when the goons were after him and played papa to a bunch of juvenile delinquents. It had kept him occupied, but then he'd had to fake his own death and go underground again until he could figure out exactly who had been trying to kill him. And then he'd heard through his network of informants about Rasputin's death and how he'd bit it and had wanted to go back to her. To comfort her as much as someone like him was still able and let her know that she wasn't alone. But he couldn't. For one thing it would have blown his cover. For another thing he was pretty damn sure she didn't want him there. Now he almost wished he had showed up at her door just so that he could see her miserable. It might make him feel a little bit better about his state.

He stood and watched as the water slowly perked up through the small glass top on the perculator like it was a lifeline and when he was sure the coffee was black enough to stand up on it's own, he poured some into a mug and went back into the living room, picking up the gun as he went -- more out of habit than anything else. Deciding that his plan to rip open old wounds was wrecked for tonight, he figured he might as well find something else to keep him busy because sleeping was out of the question. He sat down on the couch again and grabbing the remote turned on the tellie to see what was on just for something to do, putting the gun down on the coffee table as he did so. He kept spotting the envelope out of the corner of his eye and finally as the idiot on the tellie kept talking about how great his paper towels were compared to the leading brand, he picked up his coat. He decided he was going out. He was NOT going to give into curiousity and pick up the envelope. He'd told them to leave him alone and they were going to leave him alone if he had to kill them all to do it.

He slipped out the back door and headed down to the pub, jumping the wall to the alley and heading down to the main street behind his flat. It was a route he knew well and he almost sensed his way there, his eyes burning from lack of sleep and his mind going constantly back to the envelope on his coffee table. He had to smile a little bit as he came to the door to the pub. Inside there was pumping some old Ramones tunes and the door looked like it had taken more than one head in it's time. He remembered fondly being thirteen the first time he'd gotten drunk and beligerent and gotten his first head ramming into a pub door. Ahhh memories.

He pushed open the door and was immediately assaulted with the familiar smells of smoke and beer. He took a couple of deep whiffs, already feeling a bit more alert as he scoped out the pub for a place to sit. One of the regulars, a chap who knew you even if you didn't know him, spotted Pete and waved enthusiastically, almost falling off of his bar stool in the process. He was a chubby faced lad, slightly overweight, with big brown eyes that always seemed to be laughing at a joke only he got. Pete had seen a picture of his wife once, though, and thought he caught the joke the old boy was constantly laughing at. Pete raised his hand in greeting and as the old boy waved him over to his table, Pete shrugged, figured what the hell and went to join him, sifting his way through the thongs of people as he did so.

He sat through a couple of pints with Patrick Higgins, Pete constantly forgot his name, probably because it didn't depend on his survival to know it, and felt a little better. The old boy told more than his share of raunchy jokes, and the more pints Pete picked up for him the funnier and more involved the jokes got. They really didn't make any sense, but Pete got more of a kick out of a man who looked like he could be your local priest talking about street walkers and goats and getting confused in the middle of it all than anything else. It was like a nun sitting down to dinner with you and talking about her sister's lurid affairs. It was just funny on a very basic and ribald level. The best thing about talking to Patrick Higgins, though, was that Pete didn't have to say anything back. The man loved to talk and would fill in whatever space in the conversation you left him. That's why he and Pete got along. Pete just let him talk and listened, smiling occasionally at what he had to say.

Pete finally, after pouring about five pints down the chap, looked at his watch and shrugged. It was getting late and he should probably head back home. He waved the bar keep and paid the man his due and made his way back home. He had only had about two pints himself, so he felt pretty good about taking the alleys home, figuring he could handle any problem that headed his way.

When he reached the flat he entered through the back an headed for the loo for a shower and a shave. Standing under the spray and letting it pelt him endlessly seemed to take a little more tension from his shoulders and make him feel a little bit better about everything. He went out into the living room still wrapped in his towel and turned the tellie back on and almost groaned. It seemed like the same idiot that had been talking about paper towels was now doing an informercial about plaque rinse. Pete made a point, as he sat down, turned off the television and picked up a book he was reading about the life of one of his favorite military persons, that he was going to have to kill all guys who looked like the one that had been on the tellie on principle.

When the phone rang he ignored it for the first five rings and then finally reached over and yanked it up to his ear, trying to read all the while, "WHAT?" The tone was far from friendly, but neither was the voice that answered him.

"Open the envelope, Peter."

He sat upright immediately and then quickly hit the floor, ignoring when the towel dropped off of his body. He was too busy getting his gun as a back up weapon. He detangled himself from the phone cord as the voice repeated, "Open the envelope, Peter."

Pete cursed silently as he got his leg from around the phone cord and managed to bark into the phone, "Who is this?" He heard the distinctive click as the phone hung up in his ear, but he was already on his feet and moving toward his back door. He ignored his nakedness as he stole around toward the front of his flat. One of the neighbors opened their window in the misting rain that was starting to fall and Pete glared at them when they stared in shock, until they closed their window curtains.

He cased his entire property silently stealing from shadow to shadow until he was absolutely sure he wasn't being watched and then he stole back into his flat, feeling angry enough to eat leather. He did NOT like being fucked with. It was part of his basic personality. Someone was going to pay. He'd see to that. He quickly got dressed, pulling on his clothes in angry motions, almost choking himself with his bloody tie he was so mad.

He returned to the living room, killing the light from the one lamp in the room, and staying low grabbed the envelope off the coffee table, and moved to a more secure part of the house. He was positive no one could see into his living room with the way he had positioned his furniture, so it really bugged him that someone had been able to see that he was there and hadn't opened the envelope. He checked the envelope for every conceivable trap he could think of, and with his profession that was an immense list. He put on gloves to make sure that no one could get his prints on the things in the envelope, weakened the seal on the envelope and then took the envelope with him into the loo. He placed it on the inside of the bathtub and then went back to the living room, grabbing all of the cushions off of his couch. He then went back into the loo and placed the cushions in two positions, some of them in the tub with the envelope and some of them on the other side with him. He crouched down on the floor by the tub, grabbing a wire coat hanger off of his bathroom door and disembling it as he lay on the floor. He then reached with the wire coat hanger over the edge of the tub and making sure that most of his hand was below the edge of the tub, by memory he lifted the tab of the envelope with the coat hanger, putting a cushion over his body as he did it. He lifted the flap of the envelope all of the way violently until he heard the coat hanger scraping the tub and he waited for the inevitable explosion.

When nothing happened he still waited, letting the seconds tick by just in case. He then peaked over the edge of the tub, letting the cushion fall to the floor when he saw it was just papers that were peaking over the edge of the envelope. He pulled the papers with the wire hanger, just to be safe that an explosive device wasn't rigged to go off that way. When the papers fell into the tub, he sighed and quickly grabbed them up in his gloved hands so that they wouldn't get too wet from his recent shower. He went into the kitchen since it was at the back of the house and placed the envelope on the counter. He then went back and placed the cushions back where they belonged. The wire hanger was beyond hope, but he figured it had been worth it since he was still alive.

He returned to the kitchen and looked down at the open envelope contemplatively for a moment and then shrugging he turned and poured the contents onto the kitchen table. He needed to know what this was all about before he could start killing people, he reasoned, so it was time to figure out who needed killing. He went and dug up a new pack of cigarettes from his kitchen drawers and pulled out a flask of scotch as he did so. He lit one up as he quickly and methodically organized the paperwork in the envelope into neat piles. He read through the basic paperwork on top and felt his brow furrow in confusion as he took a long drag off of his cigarette and he got up to pour himself another cup of coffee. He went over the details in his head, looking for anything unordinary and couldn't find anything. It seemed like a normal enough mark to him. Work must have just been screwing with him. It was when he opened the envelope of physical characteristics that he saw what would later be defined as a life changing event. He saw the photo of the mark and he felt his eyes widen a bit and his mouth open in shock.

"What the bloody Hell?!?" He didn't realize he'd said it in a near shout until it hit his ears. He'd recognize that face anywhere. Sure it looked a little different, but he wasn't blind. He grabbed up the folder the picture came with and flipped it open, scanning it as quickly as possible through the cloud of smoke he was puffing. He went through the fag in record time and lit another one without thinking about it as he read the details. So, she'd gone to college after Rasputin died for another doctorate at Chicago. She'd been making good grades and while she'd had a few problems beating up on bullies she seemed to be doing alright. So, who had taken this type of hit out on her and why. The person who had taken out the hit hadn't given a name, they'd just dropped off the half payment to the agency and said it was a matter of security because she was a rogue member of the old super hero team Excalibur and was selling secrets to the Russians. Now that, he decided, as he flipped through the pages in disgust, was a bit far fetched. Sure, they'd found out that Rasputin had been a communist and his brother had been super communist cosmonaut, but that didn't mean she, as Rasputin's ex and a friend of Piotr's, was committing treason. Someone, and he meant to find out who, was being overly paranoid.

Deciding what the Hell he might as well work tonight, Pete threw what was left of his coffee into the sink, grabbed his gun that was in a holster having learned to be cautious even when not at home, and his suit jacket that he'd draped over the back of the kitchen chair. He stuffed his fags in the pocket, filled up his flask, and while standing at the sink he lit the folder on fire, having burned it all into his mind already, making sure that he scattered the ashes and washed them down the drain. Except for the picture. That he kept. He flicked on the TV on his way to the door, figuring that he might as well let people think he was home. He then ran his hand through his hair, figured he was presentable enough, and threw the door open.

And stopped dead in his tracks.

It was raining out like Noah's second coming, unlike earlier, and it looked like she'd been standing there quite a while. Her hair surrounded her face in wet black ringlets, her brown eyes seeming larger in her face since her hair was plastered to her head. Her face looked pale and drawn in comparison to all of that dark hair tight to her head. She wore a smooth black leather coat, a white tee shirt poked from beneath it barely, blue jeans so tight he wondered how she breathed in them, not that he cared, and white sneakers. Over her shoulder was slung a black duffle bag that looked as if the water proofing on it might or might not hold up for very much longer. Her hair was shorter than he remembered it to be, just below her shoulders instead of almost down to her waist, but that was okay because she looked good in it, or he thought she did -- he'd have to wait until her hair dried to be sure. On her face had been a look of indecision, but that changed when he opened the door to one of shock and then to resignation as he continued to stare at her.

She suddenly spoke and he realized she'd been studying him too, "Can I come in or would you rather I leave?"

Pete took a breath and decided to be honest with her, "I don't know." She gave him a half-grin that looked somewhat sad to him and she turned around. She'd taken two of the four front stairs before he realized her intentions. When he realized that she was going to leave he finished his original thought in a rush, "I don't know, but either way I'm not going to have you ruddy catching your death out here." He stepped aside, a silent invitation for her to enter, he was too proud to just invite her into his house. Sure the place wasn't home to him, but it was still his place and he was willingly letting her invade it. He wasn't going to ask her to come in and leave her stamp on the place to torment him later...it was hard for him to even give a physical invitation let alone a verbal one. She seemed to understand though, and simply walked by him and into the living room, looking around as she did so. She didn't go more than three feet past the door before she stopped though, and Pete realized she didn't want to move past the tile in front of the door and drip on his carpet. He shook his head as he walked past her, "Hold on. I'll get you a towel."

He returned a few seconds later after having raided the bathroom out of its one of two towels and he threw it to her, realizing suddenly that protecting her was going to be a lot easier now that she was standing in front of him. She'd put her duffle bag down on the floor by her feet and when Pete saw a slight ruffling in the bag he sighed and decided that he might as well make the evening complete and get a sore ankle, "You can let Lockheed out by the way. I won't kill him." Kitty looked at him gratefully where she'd been soaking the water out of her hair and as she reached down to unzip the bag Pete finished, "If he doesn't give me a reason to." A purple scaled head popped out of the bag and Lockheed stuck his tongue out at Pete with a slight glare, showing that he'd heard the earlier comment, and then he struggled free of the bag, stepping aside so that the water that was dripping off of Kitty didn't hit his still dry form.

Kitty managed to sop enough water off of herself that she was just wet, instead of soaking. Kitty stood akwardly and then asked, motioning toward her bag on the floor, "Could I bother you to use your restroom for a moment so I can change into something dry?"

Pete motioned toward the loo and said, "Knock yourself out." Pete stubbornly stood in front of Kitty so she, after stepping a little from one side to the other, looking for an opening, just brushed past him. Where her arm touched him left familiar sparks he hadn't felt in what seemed forever, and he felt a little stupid for being ornery and not moving just so she had to touch him. Sure he'd proven he was a tough guy and could stand there while she walked past him, but it also showed he was stupid for standing there and letting her touch him and making him feel things he hadn't felt in quite some time. Pete, to get his mind off of what Kitty was going to be taking off in the bathroom, looked toward the purple dragon who was now curled up on the back of his couch, "Can I ask you a question?" Lockheed looked up with some interest and some mistrust in his expression. Pete couldn't believe he was talking to this dragon, but it was better than sitting there stewing, "What does she want? Is she here to twist the knife just a little bit deeper or what?"

Lockheed sighed and shook his head and then shrugged his small dragon shoulders, looking a bit confused himself, but most of all concerned. Pete didn't like the concern in the little dragon companion one bit. Lockheed, he'd noticed in his time with Kitty, was like a barometer of her mood. When she was happy, Lockheed was happy, unless men were concerned and then jealousy was there. When she was sad, Lockheed would mope around like he'd lost a family member. When Kitty was relaxed and content, he'd seen Lockheed curl up with her on the couch and just fall asleep while Kitty petted him, and she was just watching TV, relaxing. At those times Pete could swear the dragon purred. When Lockheed had gotten lost, before their breakup, Pete had later looked back and realized that something had to be wrong. If Lockheed was lost, Kitty was lost. And that didn't signal well to how her relations were going with anyone. It worried Pete that Lockheed looked confused and concerned because that meant Kitty wasn't sharing everything with her best friend, and that wasn't like her.

Pete locked eyes with the small purple dragon and said, "I'm going to go and get her a cup of coffee for when she gets out of the bath. She's probably going to need it or she'll get pnemonia and die and we'll never know what is going on in that head of hers." Lockheed nodded, looking actually approving for a change and then he looked toward the bathroom and rolled his eyes as if saying, "Women!" Pete couldn't agree more. As he walked into the kitchen he stopped in his tracks and almost choked on air. GOOD GOD! He was starting to understand the dragon! That had to be one of the signs of the end of the world. Didn't it?

Pete was true to his word and when Kitty came out of the bathroom dressed in jeans and a plain navy sweatshirt, Pete held out the cup of coffee to her, "I made it the way you like it. Two grains of sugar and just enough cream to cool it down." Kitty hesitated for a moment and then looked down at the cup.

Kitty smiled a little as she took the cup from him, "You remembered." She then looked up at him seriously, her eyes shining with emotions that Pete couldn't deciper, "I'm glad."

Pete didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't say anything. He instead headed for the couch and then changing his mind sat in the small armchair that sat to the left side of the couch. Kitty saw it and looked a little sad as she sat down on the couch, looking ill at ease as she sipped the coffee and looked around. When she took in the relatively normal looking living room she asked, "Romany?"

Pete looked at the furniture that matched and the purposeful place that everything was in, "How'd you guess?" Pete shook his head as he looked at a small oriental print on the wall, "I never really cared much for the design of the place so long as it worked. Never was here long enough to get attached or care what my wallpaper looked like. Romany came in and designed the place and did some weird feng shui...or whatever the Hell it is...on the place and told me in no uncertain terms to not get a fish because they'd absorb the negative energy rushing in the place and would be dead in minutes." He realized he was almost babbling, which for him was very unusual. He liked quiet and never tried to fill in dead space. Even when silence was uncomfortable you could use it as a weapon and wait the other person out. No, he never tried to fill in silence. Yet for some odd reason he was trying to now. He scowled. He didn't like it that he was acting out of character. She'd managed to make him act out of character too much when they were together. Determined to not let her do it to him again, he sat in stony silence as she sipped her coffee.

Pete finally, after letting the minutes tick by and getting agitated that she wasn't talking decided he might as well start true conversation, "So, what are you doing on my doorstep in the middle of the night?" Okay, he thought to himself, that might not have been the BEST way to start, but it was what he really wanted to know, so damn all of the hippie politically correct etiquette on how to run a conversation crap. He'd never been good at abiding by it before. Why start now?

Kitty choked on her coffee a bit and then putting her hand to her chest after a slight fit of coughing, she managed to say, "I forgot how blunt you could be sometimes, Pete. I shouldn't have."

Kitty suddenly looked very very ill at ease and Lockheed, looking very concerned curled up by her on the couch. Kitty put her elbows on her knees and rested her head in her hands, looking suddenly very defeated. It seemed like she just curled in on herself like she was trying to block out the world. Pete was half out of his chair and was in the position of heading across to her before he could stop himself. It was instinct and it was an instinct that he crushed down as soon as he realized he was doing it and sat back down, knowing suddenly that what Kitty had to say was going to be hard for her and he didn't want to make it worse by making her feel akward with her ex-boyfriend cuddling her or something.

Kitty finally looked up and Pete saw unshed tears in her eyes. She choked a little on her words, and then cleared her throat, gaining control by sheer force of will. She then started to speak, "I thought I could do it you know. Come here, apologize, and walk out. I thought I could do a lot of things come to think of it. Like lead a normal life like everyone else in the world who isn't a mutant. I went back to college and tried to put all of it behind me and I just thought to myself, 'alone, yeah, that's what I need. If I'm alone I can't lose anybody else and if I do I won't know it.' That was such a crock of stupidity on my part."

She laughed cynically as she looked down at her now clasped hands, "I figured that being alone I'd have no problem. I had Lockheed with me so I wasn't alone and I'd do okay at college. And I did. For a while. I had nightmares and trouble sleeping and had a hard time dealing with how 'normal' real life actually was. You know, no bad mutants jumping out of the woodwork to kill you, no worldwide catacysm to make your heart race and make you fear you might not live another day...things like that. But, I thought I'd get used to it and most importantly I wouldn't have to worry about the short life expectancy of the mutant world and I'd be alone. I'd be a rock. I'd be an island. That type of thing."

"Then I got the call last week from Professor Xavier. He'd worked hard to track me down but not to beg me back to the X-men like I always figured." Kitty looked up at Pete and tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes, "He told me my dad was dead." She then looked back down, looking down again, looking so low that Pete started to feel worried.

Pete mainly felt shock at the news because Kitty's dad was younger than his evil old man and his old man was still ticking. He would have felt better if the guy had caught a bullet. He was used to people dying like that. And he knew that Kitty was too. So there was going to be part of the problem for Kitty right there. You can't fight death. It takes you when it wants you. Death has a bullet, real or otherwise, with your name on it and when it comes to take you there's nothing you can do to dodge it. So there was no one that Kitty could go after for her dad's death and make them pay. She was stuck with only grief and no anger. That was never a good thing for people like them.

Even though he'd never met Kitty's dad he knew that the two of them had always been very close. Kitty and her mom had problems but her and her dad had done everything together when she was young. Cubs games, girlscout meetings, camping trips...all of the stuff that seemed so alien to Pete being raised by a very strict police and military family Kitty had found completely normal. He couldn't even begin to comprehend what losing that type of relationship hurt like, but he was getting an idea from the pure grief that was reflecting in every line of Kitty's body.

Kitty let the tears run down her face now, "I had always promised him that we'd go to a baseball game sometime. I'd take a trip out and we'd meet somewhere and make up for the lost time we'd wasted apart for so long. And now...now it will never happen..." Kitty's sentence was broken by a sob. Pete reached out with a hand as if to comfort her as she continued through little hiccuping sobs, "What sucks the most...is...that I can't even go AFTER...anybody for it. There was some things that dad was involved in that some guys were after him, but they...never...even got near him. Da...da...dad had a heart attack and got rushed to the hospital and they just couldn't...couldn't do anything for him." Kitty looked up at Pete and held up her hands between them, "What good is this Pete??? What good is having mutant powers and a genius IQ if I couldn't even realize that my dad's heart was weak? What good AM I?"

"And do you know what I realized when I looked in the mirror that morning? I looked and realized that I was completely and utterly alone and it was ALL MY FAULT!!! I had friends, I had family, I had love and caring and I JUST WALKED AWAY!!! I did it so I wouldn't get hurt and I ended up with worlds of hurt and no one there to care."

She pounded the arm of the couch, "I couldn't even stay and fight with the X-men. I RAN AWAY!!! And in running away Professor Xavier couldn't tell me my dad was in the hospital until it was too late. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye because I'm a coward!" She pounded the arm of the couch like it was some great enemy that she was trying to beat to death.

Pete got up and walked to where Kitty was and reaching out grabbed her arm in a firm grip in mid-whack. He then pulled her up by her arm, she resisting as he did so, and pulled her resisting form into his arms. When his arms wrapped around her it seemed like some type of wall came down and she was suddenly crying soul deep sobs into his shoulder. He did the only thing he could do and just rubbed her back and held her, realizing he'd been wrong. Kitty had anger at someone, but that someone was herself and that could be very destructive indeed. He'd explain to her later that it wasn't her fault that her dad was overweight and kept ignoring the doctor's prompts to lose weight. He'd remembered her complaining about that and how her dad's health was going to suffer because the man was lazy. He'd tell her later that he knew what it was to lose a parent and blame yourself for it and she was the one who taught him that you can't blame yourself forever, that some things are going to happen no matter what you do. He felt completely out of his depth, but he knew he had to do what he could. He'd never seen Kitty like this. She was wounded deep down inside and it wasn't just the death of her father. It was the loss on top of everything else. She'd lost a lot of people very close to her, and unlike people like him who just raised a glass to those people once in a while after killing all who were responsible for that death, Kitty held herself responsible for not being there to save them or in the case of her dad, not being there to come up with a way to save him or to say goodbye.

He felt Lockheed settle onto his shoulder and it felt strange. Lockheed balanced on Pete's shoulder and somehow managed to wrap himself around Kitty, even though her shoulders were shaking, and started to make comforting sounds. It seemed to just make her cry harder.

She cried so long that Pete was starting to worry that she was going to make herself sick, but he also knew she NEEDED this on the most basic level. She hadn't cried in a long, long time he knew. She wasn't the type to cry over nothing. It was like when he broke down after wiping out an entire town and realizing he'd finally gone through burnout. When you ignored you had feelings for so long they came back and kicked you square in the ass every single time.

Finally the tears started to abate and Pete was relieved. Kitty finally leaned back from him a bit and seeing her running nose and eyes Pete reached into his back pocket and pulled out a hankerchief with one arm. Kitty looked grateful as she cleaned herself up a bit. Pete finally, keeping an arm around Kitty for good measure, lest they drop Lockheed, sat down on the couch and pulled her down next to him. He cuddled her to his side for a bit until he could tell she was a bit calmer and then he asked the question that was now upmost on his mind, "Why me?"

Kitty knew what he meant immediately and wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks as she collected her thoughts on how to put things into words, "When I heard about my dad things started crashing down around my ears. When I realized how alone and isolated I was and how I'd done it on purpose, I started thinking of my dad lying in a hospital bed alone and dying with no one there that he knew to comfort him or keep him company." She looked like she was getting upset again at the very thought, but she fought for and won her control. She looked at Pete, her brown eyes shiny from her tears, "I started realizing how long I'd been pushing people away and how I'd hurt so many people and cheated myself out of so much by trying to protect myself, and them really, from hurt in the long run. I started remembering all of the good things that I was missing, like someone just being there who understands, and started to feel really, really dumb. When I thought of the hurt I caused and how stupid it was that I did it, I thought of you first and I just...I wanted to just come here and say 'I'm sorry' and pray that you'll forgive me."

Pete blinked feeling as if his heart had been ripped in two, "Damn you Pryde!" He didn't mean to snap it but he did. He felt her stiffen against him, but was too distracted to care, "I've been angry with you for years because you broke up with me without remorse and let what we had go for some stupid sense of losing your youth and now you have to pull a 180 on me and make me realize that you've seen all of this too, have for some time, and you're sorry!" He felt her relax against him a little bit and her arm suddenly came around him too, "I'm sorry Pete," she whispered into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry." Pete hugged her tightly against him.

He'd never expected an apology from her. Not in a million years. A "Hi, how are you doing? I'm married and doing great." he'd been expecting for a year now, but an apology...he just had never thought he'd get that.

Kitty finally after a few moments, whispered softly, "I still love you, you know."

Pete felt as if the world had just spun off of its axis, "What?" He took free an arm and tilted Kitty's face up from where she had it hidden against his shoulder, "What did you just say?"

Kitty locked eyes with him and the blunt honesty in her expression was the death of him, "I said I still love you. Don't worry though. If you don't love me back that's fine. I just...I wanted to let you know just so you know. Life's too short to not tell people..."

Pete's lips cut off the rest of her comment and he crushed her to him. He kissed her with a desperation he'd never known. He felt like a dying man and she was the water of life that could keep him going for eternity. He tried to memorize everything about the kiss, taking nothing for granted at all. When he finally pulled back Kitty blinked at him looking more than a little dazed, "Can I take that as a good sign?"

Pete chuckled a little bit as he pulled her as close as clothing would allow. Lockheed was smart enough to fly to the back of the chair Pete had vacated and Pete buried his face in Kitty's hair, smelling her scent and absorbing it deep inside of himself, "Yes, you can take that as a good sign," he replied calmly. He looked down at her then and said quietly, "I'm not going to lie to you though. This is going to take some time for me to get used to and for me to think about. I want to make sure that I don't have tons of left over anger that is going to come back later and destroy anything we try to build before it has a chance to start again. We're going to have to take this slow. But, yeah, I think that this is a good sign. Because I do still love you, and you've always told me that if you love each other most anything else is possible if you try hard enough."

Kitty smiled fully for the first time since she'd gotten there and tried her best to crush Pete to her, "I'm glad." The sentence was simple, but the emotion behind it was not.

Pete finally pulled away and stood. When Kitty would have gotten up to follow, Pete held up a hand. He left the room for a few moments and Kitty looked around with what seemed new eyes. She still felt raw, as if someone had put her through a meat grinder, but her crushing sense of hopelessness, that no one would ever forgive her for the things she'd done, wasn't so crushing anymore. She couldn't believe Pete still loved her. It made her feel like anything was possible.

Pete returned, carrying a blanket, a pillow and a sheet. Kitty felt disappointment crushing down on her a bit and she started to wonder if what she thought Pete was saying was what he'd actually BEEN saying. Pete saw the look on her face and shook his head, "No, I'm not rejecting you, Kat. Not really. Consider it delaying you." Kitty stood while he made the couch up in a quick and efficient manner, "You're still hurting. You're feeling raw and exposed and therefore you're vunerable. I'm also feeling raw and a little bit vunerable right now too. Like I said, we're going to have to take this slow. And I mean slow in normal terms, not 'we' terms. I am not going to jump your bones as soon as I know that you're attracted to me too this time. WHEN," he gave her a look that made her toes curl, "we finally re-establish all aspects of our relationship I want to make sure I have your full attention and you aren't just looking for something to distract you from the grief and I want to pay full attention to you and make sure I'm not trying to hide in past emotions."

Kitty couldn't believe that her Pete was being intuitive and understanding about anything and part of her felt grumpy that he had to start now. She flopped down on the couch and she had to admit she did feel exhausted. She didn't look forward to sleeping though. She didn't want the nightmares to come tonight. She was surprised when Pete stripped off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt the first couple of buttons. He sat down on the couch and lied down on the pillow. Kitty blinked at him and then said, "Do I take the bed or..." Pete shook his head and pulled her down so she was lying in front of him and he was spooning her. She fit perfectly against his body and she immediately felt warm and safe for the first time in forever. Lockheed flew down and settled on their feet after Pete had pulled the blanket over them both. He kissed the top of Kitty's head and snuggled her close. Kitty made a small questioning sound as she hugged his arm around her and Pete answered her unspoken question, "I might not want to take advantage of you right now, but damn if I shouldn't get something out of all of the waiting I've had to do." Kitty smiled a bit as she immediately drifted into a exhausted sleep.

*********************

Two weeks later

Kitty looked dryly over at Pete who was in the driver's seat, "Are you going to answer me now and tell me where we're going?"

Pete shook his head, a lit cigarette dangling out the side of his mouth as the car he'd rented hugged a turn so close Kitty could look down the sheer drop off on his side of the car and that worried her. Pete's mouth twitched a bit as he hugged another turn, squealing a bit of tire as he did it. Kitty didn't even look at the speedometer, but from the ill look on Lockheed's face as he read it from the small back seat she was prepared to phase at any second.

She would be fine with Pete driving fast if not for the fact that he was really ticked off at her right now and no matter how good of a driver you were, if you were mad you were ten times more likely to make a mistake. Her dad had always said, "Never trust an angry driver." and she agreed with him whole heartedly to this day. He was ticked about something this morning when she'd come clean with him about the hit on her. She still remembered it well.

He'd been sitting at the kitchen table when she'd walked into the room sipping his morning coffee. She'd gotten a cup herself and sat down at the kitchen table when Pete had abruptly put down the mug, locked eyes with her and said, "Now that you're sitting down, there's something you should know. The past two weeks there has been a hit out on you. I've pulled as many strings as I can to figure out where it was coming from, but haven't been able to find the source."

She should have tried to feign surprise, but instead had taken a sip of her coffee, picked up the morning paper and said simply, "I know."

The next thing she'd known there was a very male hand pushing down the paper every so slowly until grey eyes met brown. Pete didn't bother with the multitude of questions in the front of his mind, he instead asked the main one, "How do you know?"

Kitty took another sip of her coffee with her right hand, letting the paper crumple up on that side in Pete's hand which was slowly turning into a fist, "Easy. I took out the hit on myself."

She COULD have worded it better, but even thinking back on it, she couldn't think of a nicer and more subtle way to say it. Pete had looked at her agast and finally managed to say, "WHAT?!?" The paper was history. He ripped it as his fist slammed down onto the table. She'd given up on reading her morning comics and had instead been more preoccupied in figuring out how to calm the man in front of her down because he looked like he was about to spit nails.

She'd then made the double mistake of saying, "Really, Pete, you shouldn't yell. The neighbors might hear." because his raised voice was making her doubly nervous.

She'd watched his eyes narrow and decided that speaking quickly might be the only way to save herself, "I couldn't find you. I looked everywhere I could think of. I checked out Jardine's old office to see if he knew where you might be, but they all swore to me you were MIA and hadn't contacted them lately. Jardine says hi by the way and thank you for helping him duck the bad guys." Pete blinked at that, but didn't give any other reaction.

She continued, "I then contacted everyone we'd ever had contact with in the spy area and you'd be surprised how upset some of those guys get when you barge in on them when they're 'working' or something. I mean yeesh. And then when all I ran into was brick walls everywhere I went I decided the only way to get results and track you down was to do something drastic. So, under an assumed alias that disappeared as soon as I took the hit out, I took a hit out on myself over a classififed internet site that is encoded. I made up all the garbage you probably read in the dossier and I told the guy that I wanted you to do the hit. He told me he could find you, but it wasn't going to be cheap. I paid the half up front to find you and get you to take the job and then where I dropped off the money I phased into a nearby building and waited. When he picked up the cash I followed him and then followed every contact he made. And then finally they stopped at your door, I realized it was you, and that was that. I just haven't cancelled the hit yet because I've been sort of preoccupied and hadn't thought to cancel it. I should have cancelled it the first night I was here, but you have to understand. I'd been following those guys for a week. It wasn't a lot of fun not sleeping and living on caffiene and sugar, but I figured it was the only way to find you."

Pete hadn't said anything to that, he'd just told her that he wanted to take her somewhere and to get her coat. And here they were, driving at tops speeds in a rented sports car all along the coastline going God only knew where. Kitty finally broke the silence, "Why in the HECK are you mad at me?"

Pete finally looked at her out of the corner of his eye and spoke, the cigarette still in his mouth, and he spoke, "Do you have ANY idea how stupid that idea was?" Kitty blinked at him, feeling somewhat insulted herself and responded, "Actually I thought it was a pretty good idea myself. It worked didn't it?"

Pete finally slowed the car down as they rounded another turn and Kitty relinquished her death grip on her door so she didn't get flung around the front seat and then he pulled off the road onto what looked to be a tourist pull off to take pictures. Kitty would normally have admired the view, but Pete was too busy talking to her and what he had to say had her full attention, "Those men that you hired to deliver that stuff to me weren't normal men, Pryde. If they had figured out that you were following them, and it was only by the grace of God that they didn't, no matter what you might think of your tracking abilities these men are always looking for people or even breezes following them, they would have done horrible things to you BEFORE they ever decided to do the hit themselves and say that it was me. You're a woman, Pryde, and the things that those guys could do to you are things I would not have let them live for once I found out how you died. And don't hide behind your mutant powers. You know better than that and always have. Those men have nullifying fields. If you'd gotten within five feet of them those fields would have solidified you in the nearest wall or gotten your ass caught and there would have been nothing those mutant genes would have done for you. Like I said. That was a stupid and bloody foolish idea you had there, whether it worked or not."

Kitty had lost all of the color in her face and after a few minutes when all of the information he'd given her had sunk in she replied with a very simple and small, "Oh."

Pete started driving again, pulling out onto the highway and this time he went fast, but it was an acceptable fast. Finally his hands relaxed on the wheel and he took a deep breath and reaching over he pulled her close to him since the car was an automatic it was a bit more comfortable then if a stick was sticking up into her back. Pete hugged her for a moment and then let her slide back into her seat and finally he just said, "Just never, NEVER do anything like that again unless you run it by me or someone like Wolverine first. Okay?"

Kitty nodded and hugged Lockheed to her a bit who was cuddling with her in comfort, realizing suddenly that while she'd lived a lot in her short life she still DID have things to learn.

*****************

Pete finally pulled off the main road and headed along back roads. Kitty had long since fallen asleep. She'd slept a lot these last two weeks, probably because she hadn't slept much in the two years since she'd left the X-men. He reached over and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and she stirred enough in her sleep to cuddle against his hand, and then she settled again with a soft sigh. He put his hands tightly on the wheel and kept his eyes stoically on the road after that, resisting the urge to touch her. Pete hoped she wouldn't be angry with him for what he was about to do, but he honestly thought it would help her in the long run. He read again from the map that had been drawn for him and took the turn where it said. It was about five o'clock by the time they arrived at the desired location, but he wasn't overly worried. He figured that dinner would be waiting for them.

He reached over and shook Kitty's shoulder gently. Lockheed woke from the vibration where he was sleeping in Kitty's lap and glared sleepily up at Pete, but it took a couple more good shakes before Kitty woke up. She blinked sleepily for a moment and then seeing what was in front of her her eyes widened in shock, "What in the Hell are we doing here?"

Pete knew just how shocked she was that she was swearing. He looked out the windshield of the car up at the enormous lighthouse in front of him and said as calmly as he could, "We've been invited for dinner, so I figured you wouldn't mind."

Kitty looked at the lighthouse, full of memories for her, good and bad, and realized that it looked different. It seemed bigger and there was a house built onto the back of the lighthouse and when she looked down the road to her right there seemed to be some type of landing strip. She felt a grin spreading over her face, realizing that Brian and Meggan had to have moved here. Since they were two people who WEREN'T mad at her she felt overjoyed at the thought of seeing them again. "Pete...how did you..."

Pete finished her thought for her, "Get in contact with him? You've been out of England too long, luv. Brian is a big inventor now. And a father."

Kitty lit up like a Christmas tree. Pete hadn't seen her that happy since...well it had been a while. "Really??? They have kids? Oh gosh...boy or girl?"

Pete blinked at her, "I have no idea. I didn't bother to ask. I heard about the birth of their child through the paper."

Kitty was already out of the car and booking it up the rest of the drive before Pete could stop her. He would have warned her about the others that were going to be there as well, but he figured he might as well not ruin her happiness while she had it.

Kitty found the front door very easily. She just followed the huge amounts of plants and flowers to their eventual end. The flowers were huge, in various shades of every color she could think of. She knew right then and there that Meggan was happy in married life. Her smile was huge as she knocked on the door. She even liked the door. It had a stained glass window that showed a picture of flowers in bloom. She knew that Brian had nothing to do with choosing the door because it was too girly. Which meant that Meggan wasn't letting him push her around either, which made her doubly happy. She was almost bouncing when the door finally opened, and was so preoccupied she barely noticed when Pete came up behind her. It seemed to take forever for Meggan to open the door wide enough but when she did Kitty was ready. Meggan didn't even blink as Kitty threw herself at Meggan, she just merely opened her arms wide, smiled the happiest smile that anyone had ever seen, and hugged the stuffing out of Kitty.

Kitty didn't waste a beat. She smiled at Meggan as she pulled away and immediately said, "I want to know EVERYTHING! The flowers are beautiful and the front door, even though Brian probably hated it is lovely. Did you have a boy or a girl? What is their name? I want to meet them right away and proceed to spoil them rotten."

Meggan laughed and Pete swore he heard the sound of small bells, like on an ankle bracelet or something, in the woman's laughter. She appeared to be the lovliest creature in the world too, if you liked blonds. She GLOWED, he swore she glowed. He barely heard Meggan's answers as she and Kitty walked through what turned out to be a pretty big hallway toward the living room, "Well Kitty, in order let's see...thank you about the flowers, I love my plants. Brian did indeed hate the front door, said it was not only girly but also impractical for defense so he comissioned Reed Richards to make a new kind of glass that would survive a nuclear explosion before it broke. And yes, Brian and I did have a son. His name is Jamie and he's the most precious thing in all the world. Rahne is watching him right now, so you'll have to wait to meet him as she is very specific that he must go down for naps." Brian looked over the woman's heads as Kitty and Meggan walked by, Kitty saying, "Hi Brian," gave him a hug and kept right on walking just saying in passing that she and Brian could catch up later. She and Meggan then proceeded to keep talking and walk out of the room. Brian shook his head as he held out his hand to Pete, "Wisdom. I was surprised to get your call." Pete shook the hand that was offered to him and shrugged saying, "I was surprised I called, actually."

They stood in silence for a moment and then Pete commented, as he looked in the direction that the woman had headed, "I'm glad I did it though. I haven't seen Kitty that happy in a long time. Not that I'm the authority on when she was happy last. Meggan seems...well dammit she GLOWS doesn't she or is it just that I've finally gone totally loopy?"

Brian laughed a bit under his breath and smiled, "No, it's not your imagination. Meggan does glow and I take credit for it, at least on a happiness level. She's had a slight glow to her, literally, since she gave birth to Jamie, though. I'm not quite sure what causes it, but all I can say is that it is also a healing aura because Jamie got a severe cold that I was worried I'd have to take him to the hospital for and Meggan just told me she'd handle it and held him all night long. The glow she had surrounding her changed color slightly when she was singing and holding him that night and suddenly the next morning, not only was Jamie well but I swear the tyke grew. I keep trying to convince her to let me scan her and see what causes it, but she won't let me and gets nasty if I try to scan her on the sly, so I finally let it go." Brian had a look like he was sulking that his wife wouldn't let him run some scanner thing over her and it was actually rather amusing. Pete had to smile.

His smile then disappeared when Brian asked, suddenly serious, "So, does she know about the others?" Pete shook his head and looked in the direction Kitty had gone, "No, I didn't tell her. I was afraid of her running away if I did. She normally wouldn't run from anything, but she's not exactly up to full power right now."

Brian nodded and looked thoughtful, "She's in for a surprise. I hope she takes it okay."

They suddenly heard a scream and Pete knew it was Kitty before more than the first second had passed. He flinched when suddenly the scream turned to, "PETTTTERRRR!" and it was far from happy. He looked at Brian who he hated at that moment for looking sympathetic and said, "I guess we'll find out how she's taking it won't we?"

Pete walked into the living room and locked eyes with Kitty, whose brown eyes were showing just how ticked off she really was. He'd suddenly never been more attracted to her. She was always so sexy when she was angry. He knew a comment like that wouldn't help matters any so of course he said, "You know you're cute when you're angry."

Kitty glared at him some more and he just smiled at her a little. She pointed across the room at the figure who was currently standing in the doorway to the dining room, "WHO IS THAT?"

Kurt Wagner looked indignant at that where before he was just looking amused and stepping into the room further put his hands on his hips and snapped, "That is Kurt Wagner, aka Nightcrawler. He was originally an X-men from Germany where he grew up in a gypsy circus..."

Kitty interupted, her lip twitching in humor despite itself, "Kurt I know all of that."

Kurt raised an eyebrow and his ear twitched, a sure sign that he had hurt feelings, "Well then, don't act like you don't know who I am then. Hmmph." Kitty walked up to Kurt then, turning her back on Pete in the opposite doorway and looking up at the man she'd known as friend, leader, team mate and friend for almost as long as she could remember, from maybe six inches away she felt her eyes widen in shock, "My God. You really aren't mad at me are you?"

Kurt smiled, the hurt disappearing from his eyes immediately and then without warning he wrapped Kitty into a hug. While he was trying to crush the breath out of her he said, "Of course I'm not mad at you. Every X-men has a right to lose it at least once. In Cyclop's case about fifteen times, before we get mad. You're on number one. That's not too bad." Kitty stepped back from Kurt when he'd finally let her go and smiled at him with tears in her eyes, "Thank you, Fuzzy Elf." The sentiment behind the statement rang with so many emotions that Kurt even choked up, his eyes tearing a bit as he hugged Kitty again, "Not a problem mein fruend."

It turned out that all of the X-men were there that day and Kitty had many scenes that were like the one with her and Kurt. Even Logan got a tear in his eye when he saw Kitty and Ororo hug in reunion and Jubilee, who had come over from college on the West Coast of the U.S. was delighted to see Kitty and Lockheed again. She and Kitty exchanged e-mails. Kitty even hugged Professor Xavier and thanked him for tracking her down and telling her about her father.

When it came time for the X-men to leave, Kitty was disappointed. They'd had one heck of a barbecue out on the shore and she had gotten a kick out of Wolverine and Pete trading off insults all day. A very pregnant Jean complained every five minutes about needing to go to the bathroom and Betsy showed off her engagement ring to everyone that would look at her. Brian had seen the ring, smiled at Betsy and hugged her while shooting warning glares at Warren. Warren, Kitty could tell, had gotten the message. Pete had then broken into a vivid retelling about the various things that Kurt and Brian would do to you if you hurt someone they cared about. Kitty had glared at a very nervous looking Brian and Kurt for a moment before she broke into laughter and told Pete that he would have deserved it. Lockheed had made agreeing sounds and everyone had laughed. It had been a day full of smiles and laughter, rare for them all nothing went wrong, if you didn't count Meggan burning a package of hotdogs. Turns out she still hadn't gotten cooking quite down yet, but Brian was enjoying every moment of her trials. Kurt had revealed that he hadn't become a priest and joked that it was because he'd seen a cute nun and realized he wasn't cut out for the seminary. Kitty figured there was more to it than that, but had not pursued it. It was a day like that. Everyone allowed others to laugh off their problems for at least a little while and just enjoy one another's company. Even Rahne made not one foretelling of doom the entire time, which was a definite improvement for the Scotswoman.

Kitty was somewhat shocked when Kurt, Betsy and Warren stood and watched the X-men leave along with her Brian, Meggan, their adorable little blond haired blue eyed boy, Jamie, and Pete. She knew that she and Pete had agreed to stay for a week after Brian and Meggan had brow beat them, but she'd never imagined that she'd be lucky enough to share some of that time with some of her friends. After the various jets had taken off from the airstrip, Kitty smiled over at Kurt, Betsy and Warren, "So, how long are you guys staying?"

Betsy looked over at Pete and her and blinked, "You mean you guys didn't know?"

Kitty looked at Pete who looked equally perplexed and turning back to the others asked, "Know what?"

Betsy looked over at Kurt and smiled, "You tell them. You're about to burst a seam wanting to tell them, so go ahead."

Kurt smiled at her gratefully and then turning back to Pete and Kitty said, "We're not leaving. We're staying here."

Kitty blinked. Pete blinked. And finally the two of them said together, "Why?"

Kurt chuckled. Even Brian looked amused. Betsy answered this time, "Well, Brian brought up the idea of relaunching Excalibur and since the X-men already have a telepath with Jean and they have various strong mutants and flying mutants, so they can spare letting Warren go, and Kurt just wanted to come back to fight with Brian for leadership again..."

Kurt laughed hard enough that Kitty knew he'd had a little too much beer but he finally stopped, smiled and said, "Nooooo. I came back so that I could convince Meggan she'd made a terrible mistake and should run away with me." He winked at Meggan and she smiled back, cuddling Jamie closer when he made a sound in his sleep. Rahne finally spoke up and said, "I decided to stay to help take care of the wee lad because after Lady Moira...died...I really didn't have anywhere to go and Brian and Meggan took me in and after working with Jamie I realized that I want very badly to be a pediatrician. They're going to pay for me schooling if I help to watch Jamie. That and I really enjoy Jamie, he's a cute boy." Kitty smiled, knowing that Rahne would make a wonderful pediatrician and still felt for the young girl's loss over losing Moira to the Legacy Virus. Piotr hadn't been in time to save some.

Kurt cocked his head to one side and asked Kitty, "So, are you going back to finish your schooling in Chicago?"

Kitty shook her head at Kurt and grinned a little askew, "Actually, I already finished." Brian laughed knowingly, the others looked shocked. Kitty sighed, "It's a disadvantage to having a genius IQ and suffering from severe boredom. You tend to finish stuff quick. I liked their accelerated program, but compared to the technology I've had access to in my life, the astrophysics lab was no challenge what so ever. MIT was at least challenging." Brian grinned huge as he put an arm around Meggan, "Well if you stay in England I MIGHT be able to pull a few strings to get you into Oxford for another degree." Kitty's head lifted like a hound catching a scent and Pete couldn't believe how enthused she looked, "Really?!? I heard that Mr. Richards was teaching there next semester in advanced physics. Only select students can get into the class. Do you think you could pull some strings?" Pete watched as her and Brian talked about the curriculum like it was the most interesting thing in the world. To him it sounded about as exciting as dry toast. But, he'd never claimed to be a brain.

Looking at Kitty, Pete realized what she'd been missing all this time. She'd been missing THIS. No, not the lifestyle of the super hero and all of the danger. She could live without that and never miss it really. It was THIS, the interaction with other people who were LIKE her, not just mutants, but like her on human levels. Like her and Brian, both brains, talking about astrophysics and being able to keep up with one another. Her and Warren talking about the banking business like they knew what they were talking about and since both of their fathers had been in the field, Pete was sure they did. Or her and Meggan talking about helping Kitty start an herb garden that Kitty couldn't kill and her and Rahne talking about home remedies for things that Rahne knew of. Or her and Kurt talking about real sword fighting vs. hollywood sword fighting. Kitty needed this. To be around people like her. To have the common bonds of friendship and likeness that would hold the group together even when things got tough. She needed these people.

And so he did the only thing he could because he wasn't willing to sacrifice the new relationship he and Kitty were rebuilding like some dumb martyr. He walked right into the middle of a conversation Kitty was having with Betsy and Meggan about different types of blouses and said, "We're staying too." Lockheed looked as shocked as Kitty as the two of them turned around and stared at Pete. Pete cleared his throat at the lot of people now staring at him and mumbled, "If you'll have us that is." Kitty walked up to Pete and looked up into his eyes, "You'd be willing to go back to the super hero life for me? I thought you hated it."

Pete shrugged, "I don't hate it. I just don't like it sometimes. But that's not the most important thing to me anymore."

Kitty willed him to tell the truth with her eyes as she said allowed, "Then what is?"

Pete expelled air through his lips like he was going to the firing squad and then feeling irritated that she was putting him on the spot in front of all of her friends snapped, "You are, you yank."

Kitty smiled as she pulled Pete down by his tie and kissed him passionately, trying to put her gratitude and her love into one kiss. She then turned around and smiled at the expectant looks on everyone's faces and said, "We're staying."

The cheers vibrated the house. Kitty reflected later as she lied in the room that Brian and Meggan had made up for her and Pete that it was the best homecoming she'd ever had. Lockheed had his own little loft-like room, complete with pressure activated door, above the sitting area in the outer room of their suite. Lockheed thought it was cool she could tell because he hadn't been out of it since Brian had proudly shown it to him. The only bad thing about the entire day was that Pete was still on his side of the bed, but she could change that...it'd just take time.

Pete rolled over and looked at her, amazed by her beauty. Her hair curled around her shoulders in disarray and there was a look of planning on her face that he at once admired and made him nervous. He reached out and playing with one of her curls said, "I guess we should get married sometime, huh?" He was shocked he'd said it, and Kitty was shocked as well, he could tell. She blinked at him, her mouth still open and then she managed to say, "What did you say?"

Pete shrugged and figured to Hell with it. He knew he wanted to be with Kitty and never let her go. She said she loved him too, so why not make her prove how much? If she said no, that was not a big deal because they'd work on it then. He looked deep into her eyes and repeated, "Well are you going to bloody well marry me or not?"

Kitty smiled and throwing her arms around him said, "Yes you bloody git I will marry you." Kitty had to laugh then as she said, "Well, we agreed to take it slow and I guess for us we have." Pete laughed right along with her and then tumbled her onto the middle of the bed, "Yes, I guess for us this fits right in with how our relationship has gone from the very beginning. But, now that you've said yes, all of the Hell that I've gone through holding you every night in this bloody self imposed celibacy is now forfeit because I have most definitely earned you this time." Kitty laughed as his lips crushed hers and murmured into his mouth, "Yes, yes you have."

***********Fin*************